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Co-Parenting With A Narcissist

Co-Parenting With A Narcissist

Co-parenting with someone with narcissistic development can be difficult. It is crucial to consider the distinction between having narcissistic trends and narcissistic character ailment (NPD), as NPD is an intellectual fitness situation. Someone with narcissistic traits but might not be mentally unwell, nor do they have a character ailment.

Narcissism itself exists. Trusted Source is on a spectrum; some attributes may be moderate and not affect others. Narcissistic trends may include

·   A grandiose self-view

·   Smug behavior

·   Self-serving thoughts, and

·   A need for admiration.

The number one vital is to make sure it does now not affect the youngsters worried, for example, through the narcissistic discern placing their desires above the child. Other narcissistic trends include a lack of empathy, and parenting with a person with empathy issues can make it hard, as they may not be able to experience something as the child or the opposite determined does.

This article information five crucial hints for co-parenting with a person who has narcissistic tendencies but is now not or no longer in a romantic relationship. It will even explain what challenges someone can face and which to locate help and aid.

Five Recommendations for Co-parenting

Interacting with a narcissist may be difficult sufficient, while not having kids worried. A person with narcissistic trends can be uncooperative, which is the principal characteristic wanted for co-parenting. As a person with narcissistic tendencies tends to trust Source not to forget themselves above others, they'll no longer sense the want to be agreeable, even for the sake of their children. However, there's no motive because both mother and father cannot agree amicably, even though it's frustrating. Living in control while managing a narcissistic discern is critical, ensuring the kid or kids remain at the vanguard of all uses pleasant pursuits.

1. Document everything and plan substantially

Planning ensures a person is as exceptionally organized as viable, mainly as someone with narcissistic traits may additionally make it intentionally difficult for conditions which include:

School-associated situations, which include picking up from college or speaking with teachers about anything scientific, together with medical doctors' appointments or medical institution visits

visitation for vacations and vacations

Someone with narcissistic traits can also suddenly determine they want extra or less time with their youngsters at any given second. They won't consider trusting the Source of different people's schedules or the child's feelings and well-being and can even pass as a way to develop drama to punish the opposite parent.

Legal parenting plans or custody agreements can assist in managing frustrations through the years of parenting. It is essential to plan notably concerning toddler care and to file the plan and conversations about it. In this manner, the whole thing is concrete and in writing, with no grey areas or methods for the narcissistic figure to manipulate.

Everything in writing is essential if someone has a custody settlement or a criminal parenting plan. Other prison frameworks which can help encompass:

a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL), which is a court docket-appointed character or attorney to symbolize the kid's first-rate hobbies

Conflict can arise if there are disagreements about the kid's upbringing. Documenting and planning the whole thing, in addition to using prison support, can ensure the least amount of warfare possible. This can include:

  • Whom the kid spends time with or not, for instance, grandparents?
  • What kind of schooling do they have, which includes which faculties to attend?
  • What faith do they bring about, if any?
  • What scientific selections to make, including remedies for continual illnesses or conditions?

A person with narcissistic trends may also try trusted Sources to govern the entirety, so legalities and plans in the area can make sure each parent gets a say in the upbringing of their toddler.

2. Avoid fighting and negativity

The want for management is usually Trusted Source, a symptom of someone with narcissistic traits, which may be very irritating. Sometimes, someone on the spectrum of narcissism may need to get a response from the alternative to determine and exert control with no real or capacity advantage for the kid. The disadvantage is that the negativity and warfare when conducting their narcissistic conduct will adversely affect the kid's emotional well-being.

A tip for heading off useless struggle or negativity is to deal with the relationship like an enterprise partnership, retaining feelings beneath the test and not growing to any baiting. Speak the handiest concerning child care, avoid discussing something which could provide an upward push to controversy in front of the child, and attempt to avoid revealing any private or emotional facts to the alternative discern. This is vital as arguments and warfare can motivate the narcissistic figure to use the kid as a go-between or an emotional pawn. Examples can also consist of the following:

Problems with sticking with time frames result in arguments that grow with the child being caught within the center and being denied time with one discern talking sick of the alternative parent to the child, aiming to show them in opposition to them. Remember that it's miles handiest operating collectively with the narcissistic parent for the best of the kid. There isn't any want to interact on another level with them, mainly if it's far dangerous to everybody's emotional, intellectual, and bodily properly-being. A tip for now not attractive is referred to as the "grey rock method." This entails becoming as unresponsive and unreactive as viable, like a rock. This can include keeping off eye contact or showing little feelings so that the narcissist will lose interest.

3. Set limitations

Setting obstacles is vital for preserving emotional and intellectual properly-being. As referred to, someone with narcissistic tendencies may additionally feed off reactions, so setting limitations method there is no area for whatever contentious or harmful to take place. Discussing something regarding infant care or co-parenting via a medium or the courts talking best through textual content rather than in character refusing to reveal any private information with the narcissistic discern to prevent an invasion of privacy or the usage of anything private against them in the future.

4. Focus on love for the kid

It is important to recall that upbringing and parental behavior immediately impact the child, with research showing superb parental relationships being overly helpful. That being said, a person with narcissistic trends tends to Trusted Source lack empathy and has a superb view of the self, meaning they view themselves above others — even their baby. A character cannot control the narcissistic figure. However, they could manipulate their very own behavior toward their toddler. It is essential to display love, care, compassion, and empathy for the child, specifically as these trends might not be proven by employing the narcissistic figure. Further research has proven that having a narcissistic discern has an instantaneous effect on their child's self-esteem and may even cause trusted Sources the kid to expand NPD afterward in their lifestyles.

5. Support and Therapy

Many guide groups are available that can help with any parenting challenges, such as issues with co-parenting. It is better to invite for help and help than to face demanding situations and difficulties by myself. Therapy also can assist by using talking thru situations that arise and getting to know best how to navigate them with the child's excellent hobbies at coronary heart. Learn more about incredible approximate healing from narcissistic abuse here. If a figure with NPD or narcissistic development starts evolving to affect the kid emotionally or bodily with their behavior directly, they can lose custody altogether. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can help, such as accomplishing out to nearby baby safety services and assistance organizations. It is vital to understand that while a parent displays narcissistic tendencies towards parenting, to be better equipped to cope with them and not permit them to bring about a damaging reaction.

Some Examples Include:

  • Intentionally changing or interfering with appointments for the child
  • Refusing to cooperate for no legitimate motive, including now not agreeing to arrangements
  • Appearing nasty or suggesting, even around the child
  • Attempting to turn the child toward the opposite figure
  • The usage of the kid for validation functions only or to get returned at the opposite determine
  • placing their desires in front of the child
  • Awaiting the kid to act as a caregiver, additionally
  • Being overly possessive and controlling


Co-parenting with a person with narcissistic trends may be an assignment. Still, suggestions can assist someone in navigating it to keep away from any emotional or mental adverse outcomes for both them and the kid. Tips include putting firm limitations, documenting and making plans with the law in mind, specializing in love and empathy for the kid, and no longer being afraid to help organizations.


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